Recipe for Adrien Broner’s Sautéed German Shepherd

Adrien “The Problem” Broner definitely had some problems with some people heading into Wednesday’s final press conference for his much-anticipated bout with Manny Pacquiao at the MGM Grand Arena this weekend.

“I’m pissed off for real. Coming here doing this press conference in this little ass room,” Broner announced to the media gathered at the David Copperfield Theater. “They didn’t spend money on our shit like our fight ain’t nothin. I see what they’re trying to say, but they won’t do this shit anymore after I win this fight,” Broner added.

Then during the photo ops after, he seemed to have been going back-and-forth verbally with a member of the Pacquiao entourage with some choice words, and before you know it Broner started yelling things like he had some food prepared backstage he wanted to share with the guy.

I’m not sure exactly why Broner is called “The Problem”, but perhaps one of his problems is his manic and fluctuating impulses and behavior. One moment he’s antagonizing and yelling at someone, the next thing you know he’s smiling and offering him food.

“I got a cat for you for dinner,” Broner told his heckler, which drew some chuckles from press row. Somehow I missed the joke. “I got you some sautéed German Shepherd in the back,” Broner continued as if encouraged by the laughs he got.

I’m a foodie-for real. Just the other day I saw Pacquiao eating some fried Pompano fish, so I had to get some after and make it for dinner. It’s not too hard to get me wanting to try various dishes upon suggestion. So when Broner said he had some cat and sautéed German Shepherd cooked up, it piqued my curiosity since I’ve never had either. I just had to learn how to make and try this odd cuisine.

I asked around, even reached out for help from my few thousand followers on Twitter and Facebook. Unfortunately, nobody was able to help me unlock the secrets to Broner’s special dish. I’d ask AB myself, but he was busy preparing for his big fight on top of many media obligations and I definitely didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

But like any dish I couldn’t find help with, I try to do some research and try out my own version and recipe until I perfect it. And after careful thought and some googling, I finally figured out Broner’s recipe for his sautéed German Shepherd.

Ingredients:

– 1 person

– 10 cups of ignorance

– a sprinkle of bigotry

– a sprinkle of insensitivity

– a dash of hypocrisy

– a cup of bad comedy (or according to poor taste)

– you can also substitute bad comedy with a sack of corn which will make the dish corny

– a lot of money

– not a lot of education

Sautée and mix all ingredients in a pan for 29 years and what you’ll get is Adrien Broner’s sautéed German Shepherd.

Jokes and satire aside, Broner definitely set his bar a little lower after Wednesday’s presser. A bar that was already low after shots at Pacquiao’s long-time trainer Freddie Roach and his Parkinson’s disease among other tirades against various people. Clearly, Broner doesn’t care who he offends with anything he says as he himself claims. But just imagine if any other mainstream athlete had done the same and threw out racial slurs against black people at a major presser.

I don’t know if Broner is a racist or simply misguided and ignorant or just an aspiring, but terrible comedian. One thing is for sure though: there’s definitely a “problem” with Adrien Broner. I sure hope he can Vanilla Ice that shit and solve it. ‘Word to ya motha’.

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Author: Dennis "DSource" Guillermo

Esoteric. Authentic. @dRealSource on Twitter

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